Your New New Years Resolutions

Caroline Collins

January lasted almost as long as Kanye’s friendship with Taylor Swift. Remember that? Neither do I.

And chances are your New Year’s resolutions probably also departed with the first month of the year.

It’s the end of February — i.e., the season in which gym populations are on the decline, “The Bachelor” has replaced your priority of “becoming well-read” and you probably started answering Snapchats again from that guy you vowed to leave in 2015.

Hey — no judgment zone. It’s never too late to start over.

There is no reason why you can’t embrace the “New You” from a couple months ago all over again today. Don’t let your goals fall victim to the lethal combination of laziness and the winter blues. This time, no fallen resolutions will be accepted as casualties.

And the best part is, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s what you can do.

  1. Make a promise that you will no longer allow yourself to be anybody’s “spare time,” “part time” or “sometimes.”
  2. Don’t play the victim. It’s not attractive, nor will it ever be. Now is the time to start listening to strictly happy Taylor Swift songs — no more going back to December.
  3. Do decide to own every mistake in your past because if you learned something, it was worth it. And the New You doesn’t have time for personal vendettas.
  4. Make your parents proud. Enough said.
  5. “Find your tribe. Love them hard.” Seek out people that are full of richness and flavor and who love the same way you do.
  6. Embrace simplicity.
  7. No longer refer to yourself as “indifferent.” Whether about Donald Trump’s foreign policy or why Skinny Macchiatos are overrated — formulate an educated opinion and share it with the world.
  8. Unleash your inner beast; sometimes it’s necessary to be ruthless. See less of the best in people, and more of the truth. Apologize only when you’re sorry. Clap only when you’re impressed.
  9. But maintain balance. Understand when it’s best to take a step back and admit that you’re being ridiculous.
  10. Prioritize your priorities — adjust accordingly.
  11. Stop wasting your days waiting for the weekend. Your lust for the future should never take away from the now.
  12. Pay attention to you. Exfoliate, moisturize, pray, repeat.
  13. Eat well. Give up your “civic duty” to finish off every pint of Half Baked in your freezer. P.S. throwing some kale into a blender every once in awhile never killed anybody.
  14. But don’t forget to indulge on occasion. Have your (cake) moment to take the obligatory Instagram picture, and (eat) post it too.
  15. Just say “yes.”
  16. Finally realize how much you bring to the table. There is no reason to ever fear sitting alone.