Construction begins on new drainage ditch swimming pool



Construction crews are beginning to convert this drainage ditch into a tiny swimming pool.

Evan Kuo

*This article is satirical*

Over the past year, constant construction has been no stranger to CHS students. With workers moving in and out of the building to repair everything from the flooded floor to the leaking roof, the school has been playing catch-up with the aging building. But finally, the construction efforts may switch from reactive to proactive.

On May 3, MCVSD administration approved a plan to convert the ‘stinky sewage puddle’ behind the CHS softball field into a fully-functioning swimming pool. Construction will begin in late June, and is slated to finish before the first day of the 2080-81 school year.

Plans involve adding a concrete wall and metal fencing around the sewage drain to keep out the geese and subsequent geese police dogs. The water supply will continue to flow from the oil-streaked runoff of Route 138, which will save the school thousands in water costs. The school will not hire external lifeguards. Instead, the pool will be patrolled by English teacher Jaime Vander Velde in her awesome wraparound shades.

The effort was spearheaded by fitness teacher Virginia Clevenger, who was inspired during a kickball game.

“I saw one of my students fall into the puddle during the single kickball game we have once a year. As he flopped around in the disgusting water, I saw the potential the stinky puddle could hold for the future of CHS athletics,” Clevenger said.

Clevenger co-wrote a proposal for the pool with Principal James Gleason, and they presented the plan to the Board of Education in April. A survey of 130 students on May 4 found that 68% of the student body were in favor of the pool.

Senior Benjamin Hewitt of Rumson swims for two teams outside of school, and thinks the pool is long overdue.

“You always hear that joke, ‘oh, what about the pool on the third floor?’. But all of us are too narrow minded to realize that the pool was actually right under our noses the whole time. It’s the stinky puddle behind the baseball field,” he said.